Another quick thought before I get to work



I absolutely hate the feeling I get sometimes when I look at some pretty, popular friend's myspace or facebook or flickr and they have all sorts of comments from people reaffirming their pretty popularness. It's this slightly sick, slightly sinking feeling that lets me know I will never be as pretty, never be as popular, NEVER ever, not even if somehow I managed to surpass the pretty, popular friend's friend count, because while I might be mesmerizing and exotic and all the other adjectives that describe someone people want to sleep with but are slightly afraid of because she might really, you know, she might really tear them apart when she says she wants to tear them apart - well, I might be dangerously sexy, but I will never be wholesome or pretty like a dirty blonde girl-next-door.

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As I sit in my slightly chilly studio apartment that used to be a porch, I can't help but think that if I ever live somewhere that is properly insulated and weather-proofed I wouldn't know what to do with myself. The fact that I plan to make a career of darting all over the world every few years makes living spaces with well-regulated temperatures a slim possibility, so I don't really have anything to worry about.



Tomorrow is a big, busy day for me, and I still have some things to finish before bed. I have to be awake at 5:30 tomorrow morning, 5:45 at the latest (!!). On the upside, it's finally chilly enough I think I can break out my new wool suit without overheating. Rock.

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IMG_3105
Originally uploaded by bonheath

Here I am as Amy Winehouse. The wig actually stayed on much longer than I thought it would.

Friends and parties





When did I get 227 friends on facebook?? Who ARE these people? The thing is, I have actually met all of them in person. And 227 is really only a partial list. It kind of starts to boggle the mind, the thought of all the thousands (millions?) of people I've met in only 24 years.





Last night I went to Athens for a Halloween party. A few pictures were taken of costumed me at the beginning of the night, and once I have them I'll try to remember to post one or two here. I'm bad about photo posting, though, as you probably already know. I'm also bad about taking photos; it's not really something I do. My personal philosophy is if I have time to take photos I'm not using my time wisely enough to have the maximum possible fun. (Does that sentence even make any sense? No? Well, I'm blaming the hangover.)





I rode back to Atlanta with a girl I didn't really know, but who knows lots of the same people I know. While her boyfriend slept in the backseat, we talked about first marriages and boys who play games and self-esteem and depression and all those other things only two girls who hardly know one another can talk about in a car in the middle of the night. Many of my favorite conversations have occurred with virtual strangers, because neither of us has anything to lose by revealing all. We can say anything.





I made it into bed by 5, and woke up at 1:30 this afternoon. After showering and grabbing a cup of coffee, I met up with CV. I'd hardly seen her the past two weeks and was glad to finally have her all to myself again (yes, I totally got best-friend jealous when she and dude got together a few months ago, but as she says, she's "phasing him out," so my jealousy has waned.) We were supposed to be studying, but instead talked about the hottie coworkers we have mad crushes on and what's been happening in our lives. It was the perfect post-party afternoon.

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Another tv night



The problem with my real-life Jim is I don't have four seasons, plus the years of backstory, for our feelings to develop and grow for one another.



TV night makes me think thoughts like that.

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Ladybugs and crying



First, the ladybugs:

Why do I keep finding ladybugs in my apartment? What makes them want to come here to die?



And on to the crying:

With the new season, Grey's Anatomy is good again. 'Good' means I'm crying and sniffly by the end of the episode. I watch Grey's so I can get everything out with a good cry. The past two episodes have delivered splendidly. Also, I love the recent addition of the old guy intern. Brilliant!

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You know that I'm no good



I thought I'd been so clever when I decided to be Amy Winehouse this year for Halloween. In the past week, though, "Easy Amy Winehouse costume!" articles have been everywhere. Since the thought of dressing up in a costume advocated by the likes of Ellegirl disgusts me, I've got to come up with something new, and fast.



I can't think of anything else, though. Would it be totally lame if I went ahead and did the Amy Winehouse costume anyway? I've been dying for an excuse to wear a beehive for years.

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