#1 Grandkid




My reinstatement as Most Favored Grandchild is almost complete. While I did compromise this status by making out with that boyfriend that one Christmas five years ago (I had totally forgotten about this, by the way, until my Cousin M reminded me this past Christmas) and getting a divorce, I am the only one of the Original Three not to drop out of college and have a baby. (The Original Three are the original three granddaughters who pre-date the Febrary 2006 addition of the Twins, Augie and Rose, by 20+ years. The Original Three are the true grandchildren; the Twins are mere spun-sperm, fertility-drug imposters.) In addition, I go visit the Grandparents at least once a month, unprompted.




However, I have concocted a power play that will forever guarantee my status as Most Favored Grandchild. By graduating in December, come hell or high water, I will be the first Grandchild, Original Three or otherwise, to receive a college degree. This endears me forever in the eyes of Grandpa. But, since the eyes of Grandpa are not enough for complete security as Most Favored Grandchild, I have endeared myself in the eyes of Grandma (and let's face it, her eyes count at least twice as much as Grandpa's eyes) by personally securing promises from all family residing on the West Coast to fly to Atlanta in December for my graduation, thus guaranteeing THE WHOLE FAMILY WILL BE TOGETHER AT GRANDMA AND GRANDPA'S HOUSE for the first time in years and years, and perhaps for the last time ever.



This may seem like a little thing, dear readers, but I assure you, it is a major coup. If I can pull this off I will forever rule supreme as Most Favored Grandchild.

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