Finally





I got drunk last night.





I pounded the beers back like I hadn't truly done in about a year, back when I was going through my season-and-a-half of divorce-related mourning. The past year has been all about making better choices, getting healthy, exercising, breathing, being comfortable with being alone, figuring out my next great adventure - where I must go to meet my destiny. I'd been moving away from senseless, ridiculous drunkenness and its accompanying bad choices and their inevitable fall-out. I'd been making progress. I'd been doing good. I'd been waking up hangover-free after going out, on the increasingly rare occasions when I did go out.





I think calling last night a relapse doesn't capture it at all. I think last night was...me reminding myself why I don't do those things anymore.





We had this whole other life where we were married, and we did things together as couples.





Last night I played the character of me as the heroine of a tragic melodrama: I cried, I gave weighty looks, I turned my body meaningfully to the side. When my nostrils flared with an emotion my voice could never hope to match, I knew I would have to see this histrionic mess to its contrived end. (It actually didn't end nearly as ludicrously as it might have; I awoke without cringing and with all my dignity intact.)





When I stepped outside this morning, I was glad I'd remembered my jacket, and I was glad that fall had finally arrived. The Endless Summer was over. I shouted a few niceties to the neighbor across the street before I buttoned up my jacket, turned on my ipod, and headed for home.

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I'd considered abandoning this blog for good, but then thought better of it. Though I've been a horribly unfaithful poster, I do need this still - a place where I can be heard anytime, anywhere. But I do warn you, I've become a more private and guarded person lately (the above bit of self-indulgent, hyper-aware drivel not withstanding). So I think the nature of this blog, and the quality of its posts, will be different from here forward.





I've had so many things happen in the past month and a half. So many things. Fanastic anecdotes and hilarious incidents (because, as you know, I attract the weird), getting things together for 2008 (when I go off the meet my destiny), trying to keep my grades up despite having one foot out the door...

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At the library...which is not quiet



It pisses me off that the shiny new renovated library at school is now filled with freshman who hog all the computers, thus forcing me to bring my laptop to campus. In addition, they love to talk--on their phones, to each other, at their ipods...grrr. The only places where I can get proper wireless reception is where they tend to congregate and babble. I hate teenagers---I even hated teenagers when I was a teenager---and this only makes me hate them more.



I called out of work today because I don't feel very well. I spent all morning in bed, and managed to drag myself to campus around 1. I can't tell if it's allergies, a cold, or just plain irritation that I'm still in Atlanta. I've managed to get a few things done school-wise, but not nearly as much as I would like.



It also occurred to me last night that I'm probably 30 pounds overweight by Hollywood standards.



Not having internet at home is also getting old. The Comcast guy is supposed to be out again today to fix it, but if I were my landlady I would have switched carriers long before now.



God, I sound like the whiniest, crankiest person ever. Let's see, some good things...



I caught up with some of my friends this past weekend that I hadn't seen in a while. I'm doing well in all my classes so far. My life is pretty drama-free as far as interpersonal relationships go. Life's actually really good right now.

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Trouble



When I was in Mexico, I had a conversation with two 17-year-old girls that went a little something like this:



First 17-year-old girl: Do you have a boyfriend?

(giggles from both 17-year-old girls)

Me: No.

Second 17-year-old girl: Why not?

Me: Men are trouble.

Second 17-year-old girl: But they're such fun trouble.

(even louder giggling from both 17-year-old girls)

Me: I've had enough trouble for a while.



Besides, who needs first-hand trouble when I can live vicariously through all my friends' troubles? There's the friend who is in the process of lining up a new boyfriend while her soon-to-be-ex-boyfriend still lives in her house, the friend who emphatically declares her current lover is "so not my boyfriend!" while helping him unload boxes of clothing and his big screen tv into her apartment, the friend who has taken up with yet another balding dude whom she met through a guy who's heart she broke a few summers ago, the friend who can't stand her husband but would never consider leaving him, the friend who's husband left her but can't quite cope with the loss...well, the list of troubles goes on and on. It's amazing anyone ever manages to get together happily at all.



But even I can't remain cynical forever, and I have to admit that once the 100 degree heat wave broke last week, I began to feel a little hungry again for romance. Despite having a front-row seat to endless trouble, I think I'm almost ready to find a little bit of trouble of my own again.



Almost.

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So I'm going to go all Perez Hilton on you...



...and type this from a chic coffee shop, although that is where all similarities end because said chic coffee shop is not in LaLaland and I am not a large gay man currently starring in a celebrity rap show with the likes of Kendra from The Girls Next Door. (Incidentally, I had a bizarre dream last night were Bridget was no longer one of Hef's girlfriends and I was asked to replace her, despite being brunette, smart and ten pounds overweight by Hollywood standards.)



Moving on...



I know I seem to have fallen off the face of the earth lately, mostly because I left the country for a few weeks, then have had internet connectivity issues at home ever since returning Stateside. School started August 20, with classes that are both reading and writing intensive (for example, I have to do primary research at the Carter Center for my political communication paper, which is super exciting but also kind of a pain since they are only open M-F 8:30-4:30), plus I'm preparing to leave the A (that would be Atlanta) in January (Ms. casetheplace goes to Washington and all that) which involves filling out all sorts of forms, plus I'm trying to get all my various documents changed to the new spelling of my name, plus I'm planning a trip to visit Loy in San Diego in late Oct/early Nov (I really racked up the frequent flyer miles this past year, so I'm flying gratis), plus I'm going camping in the Everglades between Christmas and New Year's so there's all sorts of planning involved with that (mosquito netting, anyone?), plus I'm sure there's something else going on I forgot to mention.



In short, I am still alive, just very busy.

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I've been keeping to myself lately



I've been keeping to myself lately, which is why I haven't been posting here. Someday, when I'm feeling loud again, I'll be back.

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