Finally





I got drunk last night.





I pounded the beers back like I hadn't truly done in about a year, back when I was going through my season-and-a-half of divorce-related mourning. The past year has been all about making better choices, getting healthy, exercising, breathing, being comfortable with being alone, figuring out my next great adventure - where I must go to meet my destiny. I'd been moving away from senseless, ridiculous drunkenness and its accompanying bad choices and their inevitable fall-out. I'd been making progress. I'd been doing good. I'd been waking up hangover-free after going out, on the increasingly rare occasions when I did go out.





I think calling last night a relapse doesn't capture it at all. I think last night was...me reminding myself why I don't do those things anymore.





We had this whole other life where we were married, and we did things together as couples.





Last night I played the character of me as the heroine of a tragic melodrama: I cried, I gave weighty looks, I turned my body meaningfully to the side. When my nostrils flared with an emotion my voice could never hope to match, I knew I would have to see this histrionic mess to its contrived end. (It actually didn't end nearly as ludicrously as it might have; I awoke without cringing and with all my dignity intact.)





When I stepped outside this morning, I was glad I'd remembered my jacket, and I was glad that fall had finally arrived. The Endless Summer was over. I shouted a few niceties to the neighbor across the street before I buttoned up my jacket, turned on my ipod, and headed for home.

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I'd considered abandoning this blog for good, but then thought better of it. Though I've been a horribly unfaithful poster, I do need this still - a place where I can be heard anytime, anywhere. But I do warn you, I've become a more private and guarded person lately (the above bit of self-indulgent, hyper-aware drivel not withstanding). So I think the nature of this blog, and the quality of its posts, will be different from here forward.





I've had so many things happen in the past month and a half. So many things. Fanastic anecdotes and hilarious incidents (because, as you know, I attract the weird), getting things together for 2008 (when I go off the meet my destiny), trying to keep my grades up despite having one foot out the door...

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